Christmas Time

So Toms family is now here for Christmas, all of them even Anne flew out from Texas to visit. Its nice, and I enjoy having family visit, and I know I should be happy right now. I am for the most part I have started working out again. I just cant help but be a little sad right now just thinking of the things I would be buying and would have bought for the up coming arrival of our baby. It makes me sad to know that this will not happened for us right now, I know that we will once again try and have a baby. Its just a sad thing for me to think about, I know Tom is sad. I think sometimes people forget and say stupid things like this person at work asked me when we were going to start our family, I said I am not sure we just had a miscarriage and she was all I know that but I was wondering when you are going to start try again. REALLY, its just barely been 4 months its not something you can just get over like that. I mean we were 3 months along and we thought we were safe. I know we want to try again but I am not going to say when nor are we going to put a time limit on it. We will just let it happen when it happens and let God and nature take its coarse. I love my cousins little girl Brooke and all but sometimes I just cant help but think now our kids wont be close like my cousin and I were. Cause Brooke is already 16months old, and who know when we will have a baby. It makes me sad. Today I cried some about the loss, and its like a loss of future that you thought you were going to have, not only for the baby, but for yourself and your families, not that it wont eventually come true. Its just not when you thought it would come true. I hope and pray 2010 brings my family lots of joys and happiness and truly good things for my family as well as our friends. I love my husband more now then I could have ever know he has been my rock and the person who is always there for me to cry on and to pick me up and push me forward.